Gary’s Speech on Healthcare

I may be illiterate but I surround myself with very, very smart people. Take for example my friend Gary. He’s a magnificent orator and his speech is thoughtful. I wish the debate on healthcare, and every other government interest, could be articulated this well by the media.

For those who don’t know I’ve been in Toastmasters for 2 years and recently I developed a speech that had excellent reviews. As such I gave it as a test speech at a contest and subsequently was invited to another Toastmasters club to give it a 3rd time. They captured it on video. Maybe it’s meaningful to someone out there in the blog-o-sphere.

His blog.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

I was a late adopter. But hooboy, once I adopted I was all in. And now? Now I have 87 friends. I need to break up with about 40 of them. Or, more accurately, remove them.

You know what I’m talking about right?

At first I was only friends with my friends. Then I was friends with people I used to be friends with. It was all good. I looked at pictures of people’s babies, I saw that people were alive. I was happy for them. And then slowly I began comparing … why is he friends with her and not me? what are they talking about on their walls? why don’t I have the decoder ring?

The final straw was when someone that I am friends with in real-life, or at least am friendly with (I handed down boxes and boxes of baby clothes to her, so she’s not a stranger) had a status of “is sad that people are so mean” the same day that she sent me a message saying that if the baby clothes I had inquired about were so important that I would unfriend her then she would get them back. Of course, I took the status personally. Of course I get my knickers in a knot about why doesn’t she give me the benefit of the doubt. In short, she and I had been unfriended. I didn’t do that. I had no reason to. I had asked her about some baby clothes and when she said they were onto another friend, I replied with “if they’ve already found new homes, then awesome – no worries! I’m glad they’re getting another go-around.” And I thought it was over.

But my knickers were knotted.

This leads me to thinking that that particular medium isn’t a healthy social networking platform for me. I compare. I feel less than adequate. I wonder what people are thinking about me. And you know what? I would guess about half my friends are not people that I would choose in my current life. Sure, they’re great people. But we have our own lives. We’re not who we were at 16. And now that I’ve seen their baby’s pictures and been assured that they haven’t died of some horrible accident – my curiosity is satiated.

I’ve already set my security in such a way that I’m pretty hard to find. I block most applications (I have no garden, am on no mobs, won’t give flair). I won’t be friends with anyone I work with (they don’t need to know I’m swinging from a chandelier). I’ve kept it compartmentalized.

<like 2 minutes later>

I just did my first, and maybe only, prune and only got rid of 19 friends. Maybe I wasn’t as over-extended as I suspected. If I unfriended you and we really have a relationship (even if it’s all virtual) email me. I’ve been drinking. We might could get back together.

But really what is it with that damn application? Why is it so addictive?

Margaret and Helen

I was pointed to Margaret and Helen’s blog by an aunt (I have five and Peter has seven, so it’s easy to happen – well, expect for the part where I doubt Peter’s aunts read the interwebs. I digress). My first thought, was oh dear – old people and technology, not always a good mix. But look at their spunky banner picture! I hope I’m still scooting around at 82.

And then I read.

Well, I thought it was a good debate.  My hats off to Bob Shieffer… and my blouse too if he plays his cards right.

That right there? Nearly made coffee come out my nose.

Helen is brilliant (maybe Margaret too, but apparently she lives in Maine and would prefer to use the phone over her computer. Bygones).

Actually, let me state that a little differently.  ALL OF US have to call “bullshit” right now.  There is too much at stake.  You can’t agree with George Bush all of the time and then say you are about change. You can’t say the economy is strong in the morning and then say it’s a crisis that afternoon.  You can’t be about deregulation for 25 years and then suddenly be against it.  And for God’s sakes war can’t be the answer to everything.

You just can’t teach an old dog a new trick… even if you put lipstick on it.  Change is needed.  I know because I am a fat, old dog.  For too many years I’ve been eating more pie than I should.  Jenny Craig had me doing pretty good for a few years but eventually I started eating pie again.   John McCain has been part of the Republican party in Washington for 26 years.  It doesn’t matter what he has been saying the last few months, eventually he’s going to eat the party pie again.  He’s old.  I’m old.  That’s what we do.  We don’t suddenly switch to salad.

Obama should pair her with Sarah Silverman, imagine the ads they could come out with.

Whether it’s a farce or not. Whether it started out like they said and their grandkids hijacked their blog – I don’t care. I need some entertainment. And news that Sarah Palin will be on SNL just isn’t doing it for me.

Maybe once I find all the pieces of my mojo, I’ll go interview Helen for you. As Caribou Barbie would say, “That would be a hoot.” *wink*

I Knew It

I’ve always known that I’m cutting-edge. But today my girls Abbey and Amy validated my assertion that deep down you all want to be me.

I Was Spotted

Tonight walking through Macy’s a woman says, “Catherine! Pink Asparagus, right?” And in my head I’m “OH MY GAWD … SHE KNOWS ME.” She asks about my pink purse, I whip it out, she shows me shoes to match. And then I warn her that I might scare her and I say out loud what I said in my head.

Turns out I had met her Thursday night.

I gave her a moo card.

I do not have my own personal stalker.


You should go read my new friend, Sara, at – she reviews cars! how awesome is that?

Dear Sprout

Dear Sprout,

You know I like you right? You’ve been visiting my home for years. We’re tight, right?

When you broke up with Melanie I was a little peeved. You two were great together. She was your first real girlfriend. Yet, when you found out about her past – a past she willingly told you about – you kicked her to the curb. Dude, I was disappointed. I expect better behavior from you and your peeps at PBS.

I love you. I really, really do. You’ve had my back more than once, I just want what’s best for you.

It looks like you’re running with a new crowd. I look forward to meeting them at the soiree in S.F. Thanks for embracing blogs, even though the Internet wasn’t so kind to you during your rough break-up.


PS: Can you stop running the Alec Baldwin narrated Thomas & Friends? Stick with George Carlin or the new narrator Pierce Brosnan.

Weak Provider

I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs test a few times in my life. And each time, I’m all, uh-huh that’s not surprising. It’s so not surprising that other people can look at my anonymous results and know it’s me. I am who I am through and through. Alternatively I am stubborn and routine oriented. Toe May Toe, Toe Mah Toe.

According to the BBC I am a Provider. I think I’m probably a weak Provider, with the hearts vs heads section not being so clear cut.

My personality type has softened (stop laughing, it has so); pre-kids I was a strong Supervisor.

Supervisors like to make plans, organise people and get things done efficiently. Supervisors like jobs where the goals are clearly defined and there are proven work methods in place.

Supervisors use logic to solve problems and believe in being open and direct in their communications with others. They prefer to work and socialise with like-minded people.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Supervisors may reject the opinions of others and insist they are right. Under extreme stress, Supervisors may feel cut off from the people around them and lose confidence in their own ability to cope.

Because they like to take charge and organise activities, others may find Supervisors too bossy.

The things that haven’t changed and I cannot imagine an existence where they would: I’m a planner (not spontaneous), I like facts (versus ideas) and I’m an extrovert. The heads versus hearts section has changed. Not surprising, kids will do that to you.

What are you? Have you always been this way?

Hat tip: Taking What is Left

Private Lives in Private Blogs

Help a sister out and take part in this poll.

This study is being conducted by Professor Aimée Morrison of the Department of English at the University of Waterloo, Canada.

You are being invited to participated in a research study.  We hope to learn the techniques that bloggers use to protect their anonymity or their personal privacy when they write on the Internet.

If you decide to volunteer, we will ask you to answer some questions about your own writing practices.  For example, you might be asked if, in your writing, you use a screen name that is different from your real name.

Hat tip: Her Bad Mother

If I Tweet and No One Follows Me, Am I a Twit?

I don’t know what Twitter is.

There, I said it.

I mean, I’ve heard of it. And I could maybe BS my way through a conversation about it. Assuming I was talking to the Amish.

I don’t know what Twitter is used for. Would I use my phone for it? Do standard messaging fees apply? What would I say? Who would listen?

KellyGo thinks I should Tweet. She leads a cool kid life and I would like to do that too. But the noise. Oye the noise. Not the noise of my phone (at this point I’m assuming that’s the Twitter device) but the noise in my life.

Would Tweeting bring us closer together or just put more minutia between us? If I Tweet all the interesting bits of my day, what would we talk about over drinks?

When I read something like this, I’m resolved: oh dear NO, I cannot invite that stress into my life. The commitment! Do you see I just signed Elliot up for Karate? How can I fit that AND Twitter into my life?

I know it’s leave-no-man-behind, but you all are going to have to forge ahead on this technology without me. Just don’t roll your eyes when I ask you to tell me about your day even though you already Tweeted about it.

And really, do you do this on your phone?

Also, my resolve is pretty weak – so don’t make too much fun of me when I ask to follow you on Twitter next week.

Firefly, Like the Bug

It occurs to me that I don’t know my audience at all. I give you great drink recipes and not a single person is all “hells yeah.” But I give random opinion on someone else’s topic and people are congratulating me.

Weird. I assumed my cult was made up of the habitually inebriated.

Speaking of being habitually inebriated … Joss had the recipe for what sounds like a wonderful concoction. She went so far as to name it Best Drink of Summer (the SO FAR edition).

WINNER, best drink of summer (so far): Golf Club to the Head
Invented by Amy-Go, true friend and cocktail genius, and her husband Kevin.

1 part Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka
2 Parts fresh squeezed Lemonade

I dutifully went to the liquor store tonight. I wanted to go yesterday in celebration of Sunday liquor sales becoming a reality in my state, but I accidentally took a 3 hour nap instead. Anyway … I went to the liquor store and stood in the vodka aisle. It was both sides. Filled. Top to bottom with vodka. Now, I don’t know what you do with vodka but I sure as hell don’t normally drink it. My martinis? Dry gin, a little dirty, two olives please.

So I did what any normal person would do – I used lifeline and phoned a friend. And said, “go to Joss’s website and find out what sort of vodka I am supposed to buy.” And he said, “Wha? Huh?” Then I did some spelling. Then he told me “Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka, like the bug”. I said, “like the MOVIE.” (Yes people, this IS the excitement that is my marriage.) Thankfully, he let me have the reference even though I am now seeing that it was the TV show, Serenity was the movie. Damnit, I hate it when I suck at cultural references that I should know.

So sad. I live in a giant square state in the middle of the Union that doesn’t have Sweet Tea Vodka. We do, however, have big plans with a senator from Illinois.

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