Pink Asparagus

Finally, the kids are doing chores!

Maybe they’ll clean the bathroom next?

I don’t advocate for my son enough. That right there is a horrible thing. My mom was never in my corner. And it sucked. It still does.

I can’t have that for Elliot.

At pre-school there is a system of checkmarks. You start your day with all five checkmarks, one each for: listening, manners, rest, be nice and something-else-that-I-cannot-remember. Most days Elliot keeps 4-5 of his checks. And each day we congratulate him on having a fantastic day, even on a 4 check day. Some days, like yesterday, he losses ALL his checks. I don’t understand how he goes from all one day to nothing the next. I guess it’s the fickle nature of being a pre-schooler.

For this to be tied up in a pretty bow, you need back story.

Elliot is in the pre-k class with all the kids that’ll go to Kindergarten this Fall. He won’t be going with them. He misses the cut-off by one week. With that logic, he should be in the next classroom down, the 3s. But he’s 4 1/2. He was in that room, and he was the oldest. That by itself was no issue for us. What became a problem was that as more freshly minted 3-year olds moved in there Elliot’s behavior degraded. He began to act like a 3-year old. We couldn’t have that. So, we moved him up. And now he’s the youngest.

Back to regularly scheduled programming.

I’ve always been one to acknowledge that my children are not angels. Maybe too easily. They’re good kids. But they do run inside and not pick up toys and have fits and generally act like little kids. When teachers have told me that they had a problem with Elliot I’ve said we would talk with him at home and work to improve the situation. Not once have I put it on the teacher. Not once have I asked, what measures did you take to keep the situation from escalating? What corrective action did you take to help my son not repeat the bad behavior?

That’s going to stop.

Last night while talking with Elliot about his unfortunate day, I asked him to tell me what happened at lunch (that seemed to be the beginning of the downward spiral). He said, “I don’t know. Read the note.” I explained to him that if he can’t tell me, I only have the other side of the story. I don’t have his side. And while that’s a big concept for a little kid, it did draw him out some. I think his whole day went to shit because he asked for more lunch and was told no.

What did his teacher do to retain control? What did she do to help him see that he had had enough lunch, that snack was a mere two hours away? I think she let him spiral out of control. My best guess is that he lost his listening check because he wouldn’t leave the lunch table even though lunch was over, lost his rest check because he wouldn’t rest since he was still mad about lunch, lost his be nice check because he didn’t rest and had a tough time being nice.

I think the teacher engages in power struggles with Elliot. She’ll never win. He’s an obstinate kid. But he’ll never win either.

We’re taking steps to talk with the teachers and director to remind her that Elliot is only 4 1/2. He doesn’t get a free pass. But he shouldn’t be expected to behave like a kid headed off to Kindergarten either. He still needs help using his words. He’s still learning how to manage his emotions (aren’t we all?). He needs guidance and affection.

Hopefully, the grown-ups in Elliot’s life can come together as a team and give him what he needs to keep his shit together. Because son? Mommy’s got your back.

me: what are you doing to Audrey?

Elliot: nothing good

******

me: what is it you want to do?

Elliot: put the <mumble, mumble> in Audrey’s pants

me: what?

Elliot: put the ladder in Audrey’s pants

me: let’s not put anything in Audrey’s pants

One evening in San Diego we ate at a restaurant right on Mission Beach. The food was fine, the view was spectacular. To exit we had to walk by the empty disco-ball-lit dance floor (it was Tuesday after all). Audrey decided to show us her moves. I think she inherited her sense of rhythm from her dad, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this dance before.

Where once there was this

Now there is this

We tiled the fireplace 1 1/2 years ago, just six months after moving into the house. I insisted on having it done for my annual Christmas cookie exchange. And it was! Mostly. It just needed to be grouted. Funny how at the last party it still needed to be grouted. I hope that it’s not in need of grout at this year’s party. Grout isn’t so tough that it takes two years to get done. Baseboard? Well, that’s completely different.

Back to tile.

This tile was very easy to do. The 1″ square tiles are attached to paper on their pretty side making them into square foot sheets. You don’t have to apply and space each tile individually – that would take forever. Butter the wall and the tile with mastic, stick the tile to the wall, wash the paper off the front side. Done! Or at least that’s where we stopped.

We were drawn to this color palette because I thought it left us with a lot of choices; we wanted something flexible. We hadn’t chosen a color for the walls (that was done April 2008) or anything else in the house. Our hope was that with the small space around the fireplace we could commit to a lot of color without overwhelming the whole room.

If you need a punch of color I highly recommend mosaic tile. It’s easy to install. It can fit into a variety of budgets. It’s easy to clean! After it’s grouted it looks like you did a very detailed job, no one needs to know that it was easy peasy. Well, until you blog about it.

One of my favorite things about being in a job where only a computer and Internet are required is working from home. I’m as productive at home as in the office. Plus there’s the added benefit of getting a load of laundry done. And not spending an hour in the car. At home, I tend to work through lunch (I know, big no-no you should still stick to your schedule) and start working as soon as I get up (jammies and not showered, yum!).

Telecommuting can be tough. There’s the call of the dirty dishes, the one little chore that won’t take but a minute, the grocery shopping that could be done quickly mid-day. But that’s not what working from home is about. It’s about, wait for it, working. Just remotely. I said I throw in a load of laundry and I do without shame. But it’s not like I’m out beating my clothes against a rock. The machine does the real work.

What works for me, and I think makes it easier for my manager, is I have a list of things I’m working on. We’re both clear what’s on that list. She’s just as involved in my day when I’m at home as if I were in the office. Fortunately, we’re a geographically disparate organization so we’re all familiar with email, IM and the old-school telephone.

About that list: it’s not a task list with punishment and retribution attached if I don’t complete it, merely my current to-do list. I need it for my own sanity. I need to know what I committed to and if I’m actually making progress. Also, there’s great satisfaction in crossing things off a list.

Also? My kids still go to school when I telecommute. I would not be productive with them here.

I’m not sure I’m one for a full-on telecommuting gig. I fear the line between work and home would blur too much. I wouldn’t be able to shut work off and engage in my home life. But a weekly work-from-home day is a nice distraction. Although I sort of miss the A/C in the office, I don’t keep our house nearly as cold as the office.

Tickets are purchased, room is booked, parties are RSVP’d.

I AM GOING TO BLOGHER!

If you’re going too and would like to meet & greet send me an email and we’ll set something up. I’m flying in Thursday morning to hang with the very smart BIL (who is still blog-less) and am staying at the Hostel.

More changes in the pipe too. Pretty soon you’ll read me on my own domain, not a little slice of Peter’s.