Pink Asparagus

Poor Otter. He’s struggling with being small. Bad news kid, being big isn’t much better. Just ask E.

He’s big enough to know he’s hungry but not big enough to make himself something to eat.

He’s big enough to play at the playground without help but not big enough to go unsupervised.

He’s big enough to want to shower (not take a bath) but not big enough to reliably wash himself.

He’s big enough to color in the lines but not big enough to always remember that walls aren’t for coloring.

He’s big enough to not kiss mommy as he runs off to play but not big enough to console himself when hurt.

This all results in a frustrated kid that can mostly express his frustration verbally.  Except when he can’t. Because he’s not that big, really.

Really!? Makes total sense since tomorrow is May 1. I mean honestly, kids were wearing shorts yesterday and tomorrow they’ll be wearing coats.

It needs to be spring. For more than three days in a row.

Inspired by my new friend (Hi!),

(we take a break from the blog post to look for relevant photo, please enjoy the hold muzak)

I was planning this post about how during the warm months we hang our clothes on a clothes line (yay! no HOA) and it offsets all the A/C I like to use. Last summer our electricity use actually decreased even though the kids and I were home ALL THE TIME. Also, clothes smell super good when they’re dried outside. If you decide to try this yourself I highly recommend liquid fabric softener. Well, I guess that was the post.

The picture though was super cute. It was A’s two green kitties drying out on the line after a good scrub. But no picture for you. Poor internets, are you sad?

Don’t cry. Here are some pictures of kitties in action.

(hold muzak)

No there aren’t. WP hates me tonight.

Now you can cry.

Peter says ya’ll need back story … yesterday I was holding A in all of her Thomas the Tank Engine wonder (shirt and size 4T underwear over the pull-up) when the neighbor girl/babysitter said, “Who is your favorite princess?” She might have fallen over dead from the strength of my stare if she wasn’t oblivious. Fortunately, A didn’t hear the question.

It’s not that she doesn’t know the word princess. Or that she doesn’t like girly, princessy stuff. It’s just that she doesn’t really know what it means. For example, she was putting on new pajamas a few weeks back and as she smoothed them over her tummy she said, “My princess pjs!” Luckily her brother didn’t hear her since he was wearing the same ones and they had Lightening McQueen all over them. To her, being a princess is having a barrette in your hair and looking nice. Fair enough. We can all live with that princess definition.

So tonight as I was telling Peter about yesterday’s killing of the babysitter with the death stare I had to google Disney Princesses to figure out what our choices really are. Ariel seems like an obvious choice. But then I thought it would be so much funnier to google “I hate disney princesses.” That list is so much better.

This caught my eye. And it was awesome.

But then at the end was a link to find out which Disney Princess I am. And, as anyone who has read this blog for more than a week knows, I like a good survey.

You are Cinderella. You are hard-working and never complain, however, your trust is sometimes misplaced and people sometimes take advantage of you. Still, you are beautiful inside and out, and one day you will realize it and find true love. You can take the survey here.

In the word of my new addiction, Grace (I saw a mention of Buffy – how can you not love a girl that blogs about Buffy AND princesses and is watching FireFly? I mean really.) GAH.

Also, I must not have read the questions right. That bit about “and never complain”, heh. Is there a Disney Princess that is sarcastic to her core?

It’s the thought that counts.

Honestly.

This is the first year that my son is old enough to draw a picture that other people can recognize. For my birthday he drew a picture of our family, including our new dog. I thought the picture was wonderful (I’m his #1 fan).

And that’s the story of how a gift goes right.

The same gift went wrong too.

There’s a little yellow line connecting the dog to the ground. And while Banjo is a buff colored Cockapoo, that yellow stream is pee. My happy birthday picture is of the dog peeing.

I just noticed, I’m the only one that was bestowed arms.

This post inspired by PBN and Get In Her Head.

I generally prefer my entertainment to be of the frivolous sort. I don’t expect movies to change my life or even move me; I expect a movie to entertain me for 90 minutes. If I sit on the couch with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn it’s not going to be the same if we watch The Last King of Scotland. I read tabloid magazines in the checkout lane and sometimes they jump into my cart. I like fiction. I don’t (generally) read histories or biographies. It’s not that I don’t like learning new things, it’s just that I like to be clear about what I’m getting myself in to.

Last night though, I was simultaneously entertained and educated!

Dr Arthur Benjamin was the after dinner entertainment at my company’s user conference mega-dinner. He did a magic trick and then he wowed us with his mad math skills. He can square any number in his head. Any number. And he told us how he does it!

Let’s say you want to square 17. The nearest *easy* number to multiple is 20. Since you went up 3, you have to go down 3 on the other side. We’re left with 20 (up 3) * 14 (down 3). That’s easy, 2 * 14 = 28, add the zero, 280. But that’s not all, you have to add the square of the number you traveled, in this case 3. 280 + 9 = 289. 17 squared = 289.

Dr Benjamin squared 3, 4 and even a 5 digit number in his head. With the 5 digit number he did it aloud so we could kinda sorta have insight to his thought process. It was very impressive.

It’s also my new party trick. Shhhh, don’t tell. Well, not the 5 digit numbers, I’ll leave those to the professionals. And probably the 4 and 3 digit numbers too. But I can square any 2 digit number now, which is 87 more than I could square without paper before last night. 87 squared is 7569.

I pink puffy heart Heather Armstrong. I got an email response from her once and I thought I was going to pee my pants in glee. So, today when Chris (you like how I use their first names, like I really know them?) alerted us all to an article in the WSJ about Heather, I was anxious to read it. Too many articles about bloggers & mommy bloggers (I don’t think Heather falls squarely into this category but it’s where she got her start) are negative.

I was genuinely pleased. And excited.

It’s a fantastic article. And it doesn’t just talk about how Heather writes about her life. It explains how this is a business enterprise for the Armstrongs; that dooce.com is a brand. She takes her branding very seriously. Advertisers take her brand seriously. She’s a business woman and her business is her blog. Good for her. And lucky for all of us.

Maybe the rest of society is getting it. Blogging isn’t just a hobby for some. And the talented bloggers don’t just write about what they had for lunch.

I had Drunken Noodles for lunch yesterday.

Dear Joshilyn,

You are a fantastic author. I loved gods in Alabama and Between, Georgia. I missed my family those weekends, but I couldn’t put your books down. And now you have a new book! I really do plan to read it. I was hoping that I’d get it signed, in person. I have signed copies of your other books, but it’s just not the same. You didn’t get the benefit of my geeking out and gushing while you were signing those books. You know what it’s like, I mean, with your love of Stephen Colbert and all. Right? I mean, I’m not totally off-base here. You’re a fan too.

The big square middle states have fans and other stuff I’m sure you’d enjoy (well, maybe not this one, I don’t really know what’s up there). We’re not just a land of big box bookstores. We have great independent booksellers! Boulder Bookstore in Boulder and Tattered Cover in Denver (I’m sure there are more, I just don’t know of them).

To help illustrate the injustice of it all, I’ve made a little map detailing me (the woman icon) and your tour dates going forward. They’re really not near one another. AT ALL. If you come to Colorado I’ll make faces at you like your friend so you feel welcome.

View Larger Map

See you soon!

XOXO,
Catherine

PS: This post is inspired, in part, by NaBloPoMo‘s April theme, LETTERS.

At work we use Sharepoint and it behaves best in IE. Whatever, I deal. But today when pulling something out of Sharepoint I got the message. Loud and clear. This was the randomly generated path created when I opened the zip file.

Brought to you by the fine people at Google Labs and their I’m Feeling Lucky button in Calendar.