Archive for September, 2007

Tough Trucks and Sparkly Ponies

Oh Hasbro, how you disappoint me. I thought that we were past the point where there were “boy” and “girl” toys. Or at least that the marketing wasn’t so blatant.
big boy

We have the truck in this ad. Audrey received it as a Christmas present. Since its built for boyhood will she grow boy parts when she plays with it?

On My Little Pony’s website (also a Hasbro product):

little pony

Audrey received a Pony for her birthday and Elliot was so excited. Now she has two! She can share! They can play together! Then he spent much of that weekend poring over the Pony catalog that came in the box choosing which one Audrey could get him for his birthday.

I don’t think I’m some sort of uber-enlightened parent that has managed to raise children with no gender identification. But I don’t want either kid to be embarassed about playing with toys they like. Regardless of the color and number of wheels.

This is such a buzz-kill. I like these toys, I just hate their marketing tact.

Happy (Belated) Birthday Elliot

Yesterday you turned four. It’s hard to believe you were born four years ago; I remember it so clearly. Well, some of it. The drugs were very, very good. You were born via an unplanned c-section. While they were preparing me for the surgery a very nice, soft-voiced nurse held my hand and told me the risks. After she left I sent your dad to find my doctor and confirm this information. Not being able to drive for six weeks was a deal breaker for me; I would just push you out. So, you can see where my priorities were.

When I saw you for the first time I was shocked. Might even have asked whose you were, you had an entire head of black hair. My hair? Not so black. I had actually decided you would come out with red hair; I was sure you’d look like Opie. Yes, I know you inherited genes from your dad too. But that night I was the one laying on the operating table with a giant hole in my abdomen, so it seemed logical that you should look like me. You looked so much like your dad that the day after you were born a nurse walked into our room and said, “well there’s no questing who daddy is.” Tonight I noticed more dark red highlights in your hair. This summer you started to freckle. I guess you are mine.

I wouldn’t trade you for anything. Happy birthday sweet boy, you’re my favorite four-year old.

Elliot Turns Four

The festivities started early, before 6am. Audrey shouted from her crib that her shirt was wet. Her diaper had not been up to the job of containing the contents of her bowels. The liquid mess was on her shirt, her pants, her sheets and her. After a thorough scrubbing and my gag-reflexes kicking in we retired to our bed. At 7am Elliot came into our room and declared that it was his birthday. And that he had thrown up on our floor. I celebrated by calling all our friends. And letting them know that the fire station birthday party was canceled.

My morning was rounded out by poop & barf laundry and steam cleaning of earlier vomit incidents.

In case Audrey’s birthday didn’t convince you, we totally know how to celebrate birthdays at our house.

Happy Birthday Peter

It’s this guy’s birthday. I won’t say how old, because he’s younger than me.

Fun facts about today, Wednesday, Sept. 19, the 262nd day of 2007 (there are 103 days left in the year):

  • in 1876, Melville Bissell patented a carpet-sweeper.
  • in 1959, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev reacted angrily during a visit to Los Angeles upon being told that, for security reasons, he would not be allowed to visit Disneyland.

Peter shares his birthday with the original Batman!

I Have Smart Readers!

I love it when I have the good sense to surround myself with people smarter than myself. Reader Dana gave me some great pointers about painting rooms. She suggests using foam board to test colors instead of my walls and recommends this site. But, if I had done these things Audrey’s room wouldn’t look like this three weeks after my burst of creativity.

Audrey's Room

It might actually be painted and stuff. I don’t know how I feel about completing a home improvement project I start. I jest. I do know how I feel about it. In this house I’m the instigator, Peter is the closer. Don’t mess with what works!

He’s not even 4 yet

Me: what are you doing?
E: I don’t know.
Me: I think you do know.
E: Checking my penis.
Me: Are you supposed to do that now?
E: No. Just when I’m alone.


E: So, can you leave?

Ladies Man

My mother-in-law wrote me a short note in which included a story about Peter as a young boy. Apparently he was quite the charmer. A targeted eyelash bat would result in an unsuspecting older lady at church opening her handbag and doling out candy.
Elliot is his father’s son.

This morning he said, “Mommy I really like your outfit. Are you going to show it to all your work friends?” He could have finished up with, “and I would like ice cream for breakfast.” I would have happily opened my freezer and scooped out the ice cream.


Puppy & Kitty

These look like good pals, right? Well apparently Baby Puppy doesn’t like Green Kitty because she doesn’t meow very loudly. This meant, of course, that Elliot didn’t like his little sister. He even used the words, “I don’t like my little sister.” When asked why, he said because Baby Puppy doesn’t like Green Kitty.

All was made better by having Green Kitty meow loudly. But then Elliot asked Audrey to “stop meowing so loudly.” A girl can’t get a break.


It’s bound to come out. An other has threatened to out me. So, I want you to hear it from me first. I returned to the salt mines. Six months ago I honestly thought I would be a SAHM. It didn’t work for our family. I returned to the paid work-force. No mommy-wars here.

And it’s been freakin fantastic!

Except for the part where Audrey starts whimpering blocks away from daycare. But then Elliot says, “Audrey I have to tell you something. Stop crying, I need to tell you something. Are you listening? We go to school every day except Saturdays, birthdays and Saturdays.”

They’re both doing great at school. Leaving them is a little rough; picking them up is great. The teachers love both kids, but what’s not to love? And the most obvious change? They’re nice to each other again! I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Yesterday I was collecting Elliot’s school papers and saw a painting of our family. I told Elliot it was beautiful! I think he was proud that I knew what it was. He asked me, “You really love it?” It was so sweet. Then he started down the road of it not being that great and Audrey doesn’t really have a face and that he didn’t do that good of a job. It made me sad. I convinced him that the picture was wonderful and to prove it I would take it to work.

Oh yeah. That place where I spend my day is pretty great too. But it’s definitely cutting into my blog reading. My reader is very, very full.

Learning Geography Through Marriage

Miss Zoot thoughtfully and articulately came to Miss South Carolina’s defense over her inability to answer why a fifth of Americans could not locate the United States on a world map. The statistics made me feel a little less inadequate about my own geography short-comings.

The first time I went to meet Peter’s family I flew into New Orleans and Peter met me at the airport. As we exited the airport I got on I-10 West. Peter asked me where I was going. I answered, “Alabama” with an implied “duh.” To which he replied, “Alabama is to the east.” I actually argued with him. But no, really, Alabama is east of Louisiana. Mississippi is in between.

My knowledge of Southern geography has drastically improved since we got married.

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