Archive for July, 2007

Tellin’ It Like It Is

Majority of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report. It’s all so good, I can’t pick out the best snippets to share – so go read it yourself.

And, not that I actually have enough traffic to warrant this, but YES. I KNOW. Child abuse is not a laughing matter. But if you read the satirical Onion article, you’ll see it’s not about abuse at all.



Slippery When Wet

Growing up I didn’t have a slip & slide. But kids I knew did. And their parents weren’t daunted by the impending water bill that one afternoon of dangerous play was going to produce. I don’t have distinct memories, but I know it was fun.

The instructions on the slip & slide are pretty straight forward: run & slide. The disclaimers on the slip & slide must be meant to prevent fun. Not for kids under 5. Not for kids over 12. Not for anyone over 5′. Don’t use on concrete. Don’t use on a hill. Don’t use near traffic. Install in a clearing 10′ wide on all sides. What!? Who has so much clear yard that they have 400 ft sq to devote to a slip & slide? If I had 400 ft sq to devote to water fun, I’d have a pool with a slide. Oh wait, we do.

And, at 18′ long – you know the parents want to do it too. But those pics will never make it to the internets.

slip & slide


Although it was never lost. So, maybe discovered.

First though, a history lesson. Audrey was a scheduled c-section and I was allowed to bring my own music for the delivery.

I’m a Sarah McLachlan fan but I don’t pull her cds out much. Most of my favorite music is in (on?) my iPod. Last weekend the family headed to the mountains and I grabbed three cds on our way out the door (you might be asking: where was the iPod? It’s in the iWhatever music player mounted in the kitchen.): Garden State soundtrack, Morphine’s The Night, and Sarah’s Mirrorball.

Today I was switching cds out and while putting away Mirrorball I found a note inside the case (if I come across a scanner, I’ll update this)

Born 8/31/05 @ 1231 pm
To track #4 “I Will Remember You”
(name withheld) CRNA

My anesthesiologist had taken the time to write that note and the put it in the cd case for all eternity. What a nice thing to do. He probably knew that I wouldn’t be able to remember what song Audrey was born to, what with that fabulous spinal he had given me and all.

Through the Looking Glass

Appropriate Footwear

When it comes to fashion rules, we have few. In fact, only one I can think of: the clothing must be season appropriate. Given the smiles I receive, this must be a common compromise in households with pre-schoolers (and opinionated toddlers). However, I forgot to address footwear.


Audrey LOVES the cowboy boots. As we walked into the store to replace her sandals she declared, “NO sandals.” She found the boots and was in love.

My Work Here is Done

Elliot: wah!
Audrey: time out
Elliot: grrrrr!
Audrey: time out

repeat ad nauseum

We had to turn our backs to the kids so they wouldn’t see us laughing.


Listen closely and you’ll hear Elliot explain that the house is spinning. Can’t recommend watching it if you’re susceptible to motion sickness.

One Step Forward

Two steps back.

At Elliot’s request we took his training wheels off on Mother’s Day. He did great. Rode all around the cul-de-sac. And then, there was no more bike riding. He didn’t want to ride his bike. He would ride the scooter. He would ride Audrey’s trike. Finally, he volunteered that he was afraid of falling. Fair enough. Training wheels went back on, in their highest position, and he’s back to riding his bike. The training wheels hardly hit the ground, but when he stops he doesn’t fall over. Much.

I took the front rails off Audrey’s crib making it a daybed because she was climbing INTO her bed and I didn’t want her to fall. After about a week, she asked for her crib back. So, the rails went back up.

In both cases, I’m happy with the decision to revert back to how things had been. Elliot is physically able to ride his bike. But until he *knows* that he can do it, the training wheels give him the confidence to race around with the neighbor boys. And really, his problem was stopping. By the end of the summer he won’t be stopping, so he won’t be falling over. Before putting the training wheels back on I tried to convince him that if he didn’t stop, he wouldn’t fall over. He took that advice as well at Lightening McQueen took Doc’s advice that if he wanted to go left on the dirt track he should steer right. As for Audrey, she doesn’t need to be able to get out of bed on her own until she’s potty-trained. I can’t even begin to imagine the havoc that she and her brother can stir up at 4am.